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Saturday 17 March 2018

Dino Proof episode 1

"Welcome folks to tonight's broadcast I'm your host Jim Buford-Smith and here with me tonight is the legend 'Rusty' Razor McClure. A dino Hunter veteran and hall of famer. "
"Glad to be here JB and I cannot wait for tonight's match up. We have 4 rookies all ready to drop into the dino zone and show us if they have the bottle and intestinal fortitude to be a dino slayer "
"That's right Razor tonight 4 rookies will be trying to impress the good people watching and not become a dino buffet. Speaking of buffet this broad cast is sponsored by T-Rex Hot Sauce.  Nothing roars like a T-Rex! Available at all good food outlets. "
"That T-Rex sauce really does have a roar to it JB just like the real thing I love adding it to my meal after a slaying session."
"You'd be the man to know Razor who can forget that '94 match! What excellent use of ear plugs a fellow slayer and a desert eagle"
"Thank you JB you're too kind. Let's meet our rookie slayers"
"Ok first up hailing from the dino free zone in Tennessee it's Big Bram Browski or 'Triple B' as he likes to be called. He is taking a rifle and machete in this drop. That a good combination Razor?"
"Definatly JB for a rookie its a good mix. Ideally you'll use the rifle but you always need a back up just in case it gets  up close and personal. You can smash a dino with a rifle but it will hurt your rifle a lot more than it will the dino."
"Now Triple B has been raised as a hunter so should be handy with that rifle and he tells the cameras he has dino slayer pedigree in his blood. His grandaddy was a slayer of some reput. We did some research and his grandaddy was a slayer and a record holder. Sadly for quickest death in a broad cast. Blacked out during the parachute drop and landed in a raptor nest. Held that record for 10 years till the infamous Rufus 'ADHD' Dehavil."
"Oh yes so excited about making it onto prime time the poor boy had on his travel rucksack instead of his parachute JB ."
"Still it was good of the network to grant him that one kill for the dino he landed on. Right next up is Lofty Limb Slicer Thrashnut. Now Lofty is from London in the UK, raised on the hard streets there, at least we think so no one can actually understand him.  He has told several network people that they are 'brown bread' we are all confused but let's not let that bother us. What's he taking on this hunt Razor?"
"Well JB look like Lofty is going on with a pistol and sword. Once again a good combination keeping his options open on that all important offence. I've heard he favours the sword so expect some close up action."
"Sounds good Razor. Now Lofty is new to the dino hunting game but I've seen him wield that sword over the pond in a cheese rolling contest. I tell you Razor that cheese rolling has just got more and more extreme"
"Cheese rolling JB? ? Man those Limeys sure are a crazy bunch! Ok whose next?"
"Well Razor next up is Sienna Rickards a cool headed sniper from Alice Springs, Australia. She will have ample skills for this hunt but will she be able to put on a show? She is tacking in a seriously impressive sniper rifle. "
"That's right JB ruthless efficient kills will only the impress the viewers so much. Unless she racks up those kills! The viewers are a fickle bunch."
"Also coming from Australia I can't imagine dinosaurs being a problem for her that place is filled with deadly creatures and has been for years!"
"True JB I've seen those documentarys of those crazies driving cars around the desert causing mayhem"
"Razor erm they aren't documentaries....."
"What JB? "
"Never mind that Razor we have our last competitor to intrduce!! Rósín Nic Cheallach this two gun hotshot is from  Dublin, Ireland. I think she could be the wild card to this hunt  I've not seen many slayers bring the double pistol combination. I think she'll be fast and lethal"
"JB  2 pistols is an ambitious offensive strategy but she has the ability to put out a storm of bullets which the viewers at home will love! Ive seen her warming up and she is as quick and cunning as a Raptor so I'm expecting good things."
"Well said Razor! Well its time for the drop. Ladies and gentleman and children of all ages let's get DINO PROOF!!!!!"
"WOO!!!!!" *boom!!*
"Razor you told me that pistol wasn't loaded............."


Tonights Dino Zone. The slayers have touched down!

"Ok the winds don't seem to bad today Razor. Lofty has landed and seems happy with his position. Rósín seems to have drifted a bit off course but she's ok . Sienna also caught a bit of wind but she's down safe and so is Triple B. Well that's the first part for the rookies done."
"Definatly JB it's always good to get a good landing first time round boosts your confidence no end."
"Looks like Lofty has his eyes on a dino already Razor"


Stalking the Parasaurolophus

"Oh JB but look Rósín has already attracted the attention of a Triceratops! Look at it charge! Woo-ey!!!"
"Razor! Watch where that pistol is waving!! Rósín has stood her ground with those pistols! "


Triceratops incoming!

"Sienna has got herself away from a couple of dinos. Should give her enough room to use that rifle Razor"
"Yes JB that's gotta be her plan of attack'


Sienna manoeuvres for a shot

"Boom JB!! Did you are that Sienna just took a chunk out of that Triceratops!! Always good to see your bullet strike home but the rookie surely knows Triceratops are tough and one bullet won't be enough but first blood to the Aussie!"
"Great shot Razor, Dino proofs 1st Blood award is brought to you by Raptor Whisky. Gets you right in the gut!"
"Wait JB!  wait JB !  Triple B is lining up a head shot.  ...  let's see if he is really a hunter..."
"Ok ok Razor let's see .......Oh head shot!  Triple B bags a Dilophsairus with one shot."
"First kill! JB yes! Whiskeys all round!"
"Razor this is not your local bar you can't just drink love in ai. ..........I guess you can. Ok folks first dino kill on the board.  Bobs Bets now putting 3 -1 odds on Triple B getting the next kill ."
"Good odds JB Triple B looks good I've stuck 50 bucks down on that bet."
"Ok Razor, let's find Lofty out in the zone. Ah there he is Razor, he's got that wicked sword out. That Parasaurolophus has no idea hes there. He really is sneaky. "
"Hang on JB,  yes cancel the last bet . What do you mean you cant.."
"Razor!  We're on air! Oh!!!! Lofty nearly decapitating that dino! Kill to Lofty.  Chalk it up"
"Damn it! That was 50 bu........Oh yeah great kill JB !"


Loftys first kill

"Rósín is still struggling with that Triceratops Razor"
"Damn straight she can't seem to get the pistols do the damage required, look Sienna is in a world of trouble!"


Sienna is mobbed

"Razor you're correct  she's got a triceratops, Raptor  and  a Pachycephalosaurus charging at her"
"She needs to get a handle on this JB , I remeber back in '97 I got swarmed by 4, 5 or 6 dinos. Now that was hairy! "
"How'd you get out of that one Razor?"
"Good ole Desert Eagle JB! ! Oh and that Brachiosaurus walking past that stomped a couple of the dinos for for me."
"Razor looks like the Raptor has caught a chunk of Sienna there! Slayer 1st blood is brought to you by Murphy's Bandages.  Because you know Murphy's law always strikes!"


Sienna retreats to the building

"JB Sienna has beat a wise retreat. This gives her the best attacking option I think."
"I think she'll get some good old fashioned vengence on those dinos . Hmm looks like Lofty is heading for that crate kindly supplied by our glorious government. They don't wanna leave you all alone out there"
"JB let's hope it's a brewski! "


Lofty loots a crate
A raptor tries to get some dinner

"Razor looks like Rósín is still struggling with the triceratops, she might be better getting out of melee and trying a new strategy"
"JB that's a great from up here but I bet her blood is up and she wants that dino dead"
"Woah I heard a shot Razor, Sienna has taken down a Pachycephalosaurus. Lovely shot"
"Sweet JB, check out the replay, cool calm and straight though the brain. While it grappled with a raptor  excellent work using a little dino help."
" Lofty has got that crate open but I don't think he has seen that Raptor stalking him."
" JB they are sneaky S O Bs. Down in Brazil they almost had me for dinner, could not get a bead on them in the dense terrain. Looks like Lofty has himself a new medical kit. That is worth a nice chunk of cash right there"


Raptor sneaking up on Lofty

"The Raptor strikes, it misses! Razor Lofty needs to get a good hit in"
"Oh JB he is an artist with that sword! ! Look at that Raptor head fly! Have that you bast.."
"Razor!..Ok folks Lofty has dispatched a raptor beautifully."


Lofty kills a raptor!
Triple B stalks a Brachiosaurus

"Folks looks like Triple B is after the Brachiosaurus!"
"JB he could be there a while those creatures take a few bullets to down. I've only ever got one Bracio kill, took me 60 rounds and  a scaffold pole!"
"I remeber that Razor . Brutal but effective, though the scaffolders were not happy with the collapse"


Raptor charge does not go well

"Another Raptor Razor! Sienna has it on her sights,  she's cold as ice Sienna is not moving. Raptor Down  what a kill!"
"JB looks like some carnivores have set upon the Brachiosaurus. A slayer could use this to help weaken the bracio! "
"That's a cunning plan. Oh nice Sienna just took out a triceratops!"


Threshold down!
Brachisaurus is set upon

" That Brachiosaurus is realky weak now. Triple B lining up a shot."
" Sweet JB, he did it , he brought down a brachiosaurus!!


Brachio down

"Rósín is still fighting that the Triceratops , I can't believe it! The rest are stalking dinos for the hunt
But wait!! ~alarm~ That is it time ladies and gentleman!, the slayers are heading for
their pick up and hopefully not turn into a buffet on the way out!"
"That's right JB the next phase is.always awkward as you are avoiding being some dinos lunch while.finding the helicopter."
"Walls thanks and good bye from me and from my colleague..."
"Good night folks Razor out!


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